


You're my support, and I'll be yours

by alicorniansheepyllama



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Adorable, Anxiety, Bonding, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Insecurity, Platonic Relationships, Self-Doubt, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 09:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13120932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicorniansheepyllama/pseuds/alicorniansheepyllama
Summary: After a fight with his dad, Connor just wants to get away for a bit. Not wanting to be alone, he texts his friend, Evan Hansen, and it turns out Connor's not the only one dealing with stuff.





	You're my support, and I'll be yours

“Well good thing I don’t give a shit about what you think then!” Connor yelled. He then slammed his door and sat on his bed, still seething. He could hear Larry outside his door yelling who knows what, but he didn’t care. Nope, not a bit… _crap_

 

Connor groaned and ran his hand roughly through his long, brunette hair. His fists and teeth were clenched so hard that it almost became painful. He blew breath through his teeth, trying to calm down, but angry thoughts continued to swirl through his head. 

 

_It’s being in this stupid house…_ Connor thought. _I need to get away for awhile_

 

Connor took out his phone, went to his messages, and clicked on the most recent contact: Evan Hansen. 

 

Now, Connor and Evan hadn’t been friends for all that long, only since junior year started, but they seemed to form a connection out of their mutual loneliness. At first, they started hanging out because there were very few other options, but Connor grew to enjoy Evan’s company. Every time they hung out, Connor managed to mostly forget his troubles, and be… almost normal. As for Evan’s connection, he had been extremely anxious when they first met. The kid could barely carry a conversation, but that slowly began to change, at least around him. Oh sure, Evan still had his stutter, apologized a lot, and still had anxiety, but it’s like Evan was comfortable with being himself around Connor now. He no longer froze up if he stuttered. His apologies were still frequent, but he rarely apologized for his anxiety related issues anymore. Connor sometimes wondered if it was because Evan saw how much Connor was messed up and figured he wasn’t any worse. Hey, at least they could be a little bit messed up together.

 

Connor typed a message to Evan and sent it. 

 

**landoftears: Hey, heading out for a drive. Wanna join?**

 

Thankfully, Evan texted back pretty quickly. 

 

**anxiousacorn: Sure :D**

 

Connor smiled. _What a dork…_ he thought. He then stood up and sent another text as he got ready to head out. 

 

**landoftears:** **Great! I’ll be at your house in ten.**

 

Connor slowly opened his door to make sure the coast was clear. He almost made it out of the house when he was stopped by Zoe. 

 

“Where are you going?” she asked, somewhere between concerned and accusing. 

 

Connor rolled his eyes. “I’m going for a drive. I’m just going to cool down for awhile, if that’s okay with you.” 

 

Zoe paused, then folded her arms. “If dad finds out you left…”

 

“What, are you going to tell him?!” interrupted Connor, before taking a breath. Getting worked up again was not what he needed right now. 

 

Zoe sighed deeply. “I’m not gonna rat you out Connor, just don’t stay out all night… or get into any trouble, okay?” 

 

Connor nodded, and Zoe let him leave. He got into his car and started it, cringing at how loud it was. Not waiting to see if he had been heard, Connor pulled out of the driveway and drove away from his house, feeling as if he had just been freed from prison. 

 

A few minutes later, Connor pulled up in front of Evan’s house. The front door opened, and Evan walked out and got into the car. 

 

Evan buckled his seatbelt, and stared down at his hands, which were folded in his lap. A few awkward seconds went by, before Evan looked up and smiled at Connor. 

 

“Hi Connor. Um… how are you?” he asked quietly. 

 

Connor chuckled and started the car. “Oh, I’m doing just great! Peachy even…” he stopped, realizing he might’ve been talking a little too loud. He looked at Evan nervously, only to see him looking concerned. 

 

“What’s wrong Connor?” Evan asked. 

 

Connor shrugged and turned his eyes back on the road. “I don’t know… Larry was laying into me again, just… Telling me to get my life together while I still can. I got really angry.” 

 

Evan stayed silent, waiting for Connor to continue. 

 

“He always does this!” Connor said, gripping the steering wheel tight. “The only time he wants to talk to me is when he’s lecturing me, and he sounds so irritated, like it’s so painful to have to deal with me. Then he acts so surprised when I get mad at him.” he sighed. “I don’t know Evan… I just needed to get out of there and cool down. Sorry I kind of dragged you into it.” 

 

Evan shook his head slightly. “It’s okay. I’m glad to get out the house myself.” he said with a small laugh.

 

“Why, are you having problems with your mom?” Connor asked. 

 

Evan looked down at his hands. “No, she had to work late again, so house is just… Really quiet.” he said softly. 

 

“Oh… That sucks.” said Connor, trying to think of something else to comfort his friend. _Damn, why am I so bad at this stuff?_ he thought. 

 

“I know she’s doing it for me…” said Evan slowly, fiddling with his hands. “But I just get really lonely, and then when she is home, she’s exhausted. I just wish she didn’t have to work so hard because of me, you know?” his shoulders sagged. “I wish I wasn’t such a bur-”

 

“Hey,” interrupted Connor. “I thought we talked about this. It’s not your fault she works hard for you. It’s just what parents do, so stop thinking like that. You know it’s not good for you.”

 

Evan’s eyes moved from his hands and met Connor’s. He started to relax, and even gave a small smile. “Right, I know. Sor- I mean… Thanks.” 

 

Connor nodded. That was something else he had talked out with Evan. Saying thank you when someone does something for you instead of sorry. It had taken awhile, but Evan was starting to get the hang of it. Connor realized that it was starting to become unsafe in the car, because of how much he kept looking over at Evan. 

 

“You want to grab a scoop at A La Mode?” he asked. A La Mode was an ice cream joint near the closed apple orchard that Connor’s family used to go to. It has since become one of the many places Connor and Evan have hung out. 

 

Evan’s small smile widened, and the sadness in his eyes disappeared. “Yeah, that sounds great!” he said excitedly. 

 

Connor took the nearest exit and headed toward the orchard. They arrived soon after and walked inside, the chime of a tiny bell announcing their arrival. 

 

At the sound of Evan deeply inhaling and exhaling, Connor turned to look at him. Not surprisingly, he was trying to compose himself and not look nervous. Feeling bad for him, Connor put a hand on his shoulder. 

 

“Evan, I can order for you if you want.” he said gently. 

 

Evan looked thoughtful for a moment, before shaking his head. “No… I can do it.” he said, trying to sound confident. 

 

Connor shrugged and went to the front counter. “I’ll have a small banana split.” he said to the lady at the counter. Connor then moved aside for Evan to approach. 

 

He did, slowly, and looked up at the list of choices. “Um… I’ll h-have a scoop of… uh, s-str…strawberryicecreamplease.” he managed to get out. 

 

The lady nodded, punching it into the register. “In a cup or cone?” she asked. 

 

This caught Evan off guard, and he looked panicked for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and answered, “In a cup, thank you.” 

 

Connor smiled ear to ear and tried not to let out a laugh. He payed, despite Evan’s protests, andsoon they both sat down at a table with their treats. 

 

“You’re getting a lot better at that.” Connor complimented. 

 

Evan blushed and glanced at the front counter. “I still stuttered though…” he said, feeling slightly embarrassed. 

 

Connor waved his hand dismissively. “Nothing to be ashamed of. This stuff isn’t cured in a day. Besides, she’d probably take a nervous customer over a rude one.” he said with a laugh. 

 

Evan smiled and enjoyed his ice cream. After a few minutes of silent contentment between the two, Evan spoke. 

 

“So… What was your dad so upset about?” he asked. When Connor looked at him with an unreadable expression, Evan’s eyes widened. “Sorry, I mean you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to I just thought maybe you did want to and I kind of want to help but it’s fine if…” 

 

Connor put his hand up to stop him. “No, it’s okay. He was just mad about my grades and stuff, and then I got kind of defensive, and he started bringing up all this other stuff that I’ve done. You know, getting trouble at school, drugs, how I’m so disrespectful and how I treat Zoe… as usual, it starts with one thing, and he just can’t help himself. I know he thinks I can’t do anything right, and I mean, I can’t really blame him for that I guess.”

 

Evan was silent for a moment, before saying, “There’s a lot of things you do right.”

 

Connor looked Evan in the eyes. “Name one thing I’ve done that hasn’t ended in total disaster.” 

 

Evan looked down at the table, and Connor sighed after a few seconds of silence, until he heard Evan whisper, “Me…” Connor blinked and looked at Evan in surprise. 

 

Evan was staring at him with his mouth open. “I mean…” he began. “I mean… You became my friend, and you’ve helped me. I can talk to you without being scared of looking stupid… usually… and I feel… Braver, you know? Even with stuff like ordering food. I never used to think very much of myself, but that’s changing… and a lot of it is because of you. It means a lot, everything you’ve done. So, one thing you’ve done that hasn’t ended in total disaster… is being my friend.”

 

Connor continued to stare at Evan, who began to blush. Finally, Connor smiled. “Well Hansen, I guess if had to do something right, I’m glad it was… That.” 

 

The rest of the evening was spent finishing ice cream and talking about lots of different stuff. They both had wide smiles on their faces the entire time. Eventually, Connor noticed that Evan looked like he was ready to clock out. 

 

“Well, it’s getting late. You ready for me to take you home?” asked Connor. 

 

Evan nodded sleepily, and they walked back out to the car. Once they were on the road, Evan was about to fall asleep when an idea came to him. 

 

“Connor,” he started. “What grades are you having problems with?” 

 

Connor sighed. “Botany. There’s just so much to memorize and it’s all really boring, which doesn’t help.” 

 

Evan was suddenly excited. “I can help you! I love Botany!” 

 

Connor glanced at Evan, surprised, and wondering if he was serious. “Really?” he asked.

 

Evan nodded eagerly. “Not to brag, but I’m kind of a plant expert. In fact, I can identify the species of any tree just by looking at it.” 

 

Connor laughed. “No way, seriously?” Evan nodded again, and Connor shook his head. “Never took you for a science nerd, Hansen. You can come over tomorrow, and we’ll see if your tree identifying powers are legit.”

 

“And then?” asked Evan 

 

Connor shrugged with a wide smile on his face. “If they are, then I’ll strap in for a full tutoring session.” 

 

Evan nodded. “That sounds good to me.” 

 

They soon arrived at Evan’s house, which was still dark. Even let out a yawn, before thanking Connor for the break. 

 

“No problem.” said Connor. “And thanks for listening.” 

 

“I’m glad I could help you.” Evan responded. 

 

Connor eyes moved from Evan’s tired form to the dark house. “You’ll make it in okay, right?” he said, and then smirked. “You don’t need me to tuck you in do you?” 

 

Evan rolled his eyes, still smiling. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow Connor!” he said with a wave. 

 

“See ya Hansen!” waved Connor. He sat there to make sure Evan got inside, before driving off. He felt so much better. _Man, what would I do without Evan?_ he thought. Honestly, Connor had no idea.


End file.
